I got the results of that Exam yesterday...

...and I failed REALLY badly.

Like 24% badly.

I don't think I've ever performed so poorly in an exam before.
Even though it was a mock, that's no excuse. Maybe it would have been okay at GCSE or even A-level but this was a Uni exam.

I got a massive bollocking from the 'rents too, which was 100% deserved, and I had nothing to say for myself, as my mum pointed out before she hung up.

She also managed to bring in totally random things like how large my overdraft is (money my sister borrowed in HK and is paying me back), that I go out all the time (hardly at all compared to people here, and it was the first term), and that I drink too much (so unfair because I'm really responsible when it comes to things like that and have never been sick or done anything stupid through drinking too much).

However she did point out how lucky I am to be where I am, and that there are so many people who would love to be in my position like my friend M who didn't get into MedSchool, and that my parents work so hard for me to be here, and I shouldn't take that for granted.

I did have excuses as to why I did no revision for the exam (HK, Xmas, NY's, and that I spent all free time I had finishing off notes instead of revising them), but I should have been responsible enough to know that I was going to have no time and done more in time that I did have.

My sister (I think in an attempt to console both my mum and I) pointed out that this is a pattern I've always followed, through GCSE's and A-levels and now.
That no matter how many times anyone tells me to work hard and study, I only begin to do so when I realise that I want something, and then nothing stops me from achieving it.

I'd have to agree with her. This has been the kick-up-the-arse that I clearly needed.

I've got more mocks at the end of this term, and I really have to ace them...