And so start the pre-going-to-university worries.

I got my freshers pack last week from the Medics Union (we have a seperate one to the regular Union), and it was full of events to go to and bits and bobs about Med School life - including the Freshers passport and Freshers handbook.

The events are every day for the first two weeks (Freshers fortnight), and include the Freshers ball at Pacha (Wow!).

However, all the information mentioned heavy drinking and rugby a lot (neither of which I do...well, maybe the drinking).
So I began to hope that it wasn't going to be full of jocks, and that there were going to be people like me there.

The "am I going to fit in?" worry.

I surprised myself with the next one.

The "will there be other Indians there?" worry.

I never thought I'd think about something like that, and I guess where I live, you take it for granted.
My friends come from all sorts of races, religions and backrounds, but I was actually hoping that there were going to be other Indian people there.
It's understandable really, I mean it's who you are - the culture, religion, and language, so you would like other people there like you to share it with.

Next came the "oh my god I have to cook for myself!" worry.

This took a long time to set in.

I think it started last week when I sat down to eat dinner early before everyone else, and mum goes, "in three weeks you'll be eating alone like this".

Then she immediately came over and hugged me, because apparently my face looked just like the time when I got lost in Children's World when I was little.
Really, I think it was because she realised what she said was so bad, but we were both laughing about it.

I got her back later in the week though when setting the table, "in a few weeks you'll only need to set three places".
To which she goes, "oh [Azuric]! Don't say things like that!".

When I got my Freshers pack I was really excited (understandably), but whenever I talked to my mum about it she would moan about spending too much money, and lecture me about going out too much and not keeping up with all the work I will have. Basically be negative.

I was telling my sister this later and she said that it hadn't sunk in for mum yet that I was going to go.
Then at the dinner table my sister blabs everything I'd said in front of mum and dad so that me and mum would talk about it.
After dinner when it was just my mum and I cleaning up, we started talking about stuff I'd take and then she goes, "that's it I've lost my son".
To which I replied, "what? Don't be so silly".
"Yeah, once you go you won't come back".
"Yes I will, I'll be back every few weekends, at Christmas, and for ages during Summer".
"Hmmmm".
I couldn't tell because she was hiding her face in the dishwasher but I think she was almost crying.

Yesterday, one of my parents friends was congratulating me and then talking about me going to mum when she goes, "it's like losing your best friend".
She's probably really worried, about me going there, and about me not being here.

And I am too.
Last night just before dinner I walked into the kitchen to find my mum on the phone to my uncle talking about my gran.
My sister was comforting her and dad was standing next to her.
Just as I walked in she burst out crying.
I gave her a big hug as she sobbed and my uncle told her to stop crying and to be strong. After she put the phone down she continued for a bit and then was okay.
But it's so horrible seeing that.
And it must be really horrible for her - my gran has been in hospital for 2 weeks now and they still don't fully know what's wrong with her.

To top it all off, everyone in the family has problems with everyone else. Like my dad said after, "I've never seen so much politics at such a time".

Oh well, we're here for each other and that's what matters.