School people are so bloody pathetic sometimes.
Everyone just seems to be splitting up and falling out.
It just goes to show how forced and fickle school-friendships are.
One summer holiday and the knowledge that we won't all be going back to the same place for another year really does show who actually means well and how some people are just full of on-the-face crap.
Luckily almost none of this has happened to me with my friends...although this summer has shown who actually can be bothered to keep in touch, and who obviously can't be bothered to even send a text.
I texted AO like I did everyone else, inviting her to my birthday gathering, suspecting that she and TL can't come because they are on holiday in Paris (but texting nonetheless out of politeness/friendshiply-keeping-in-touchness) and this is the reply I get:
Oh that i bad organisation! Well me and [TL] cant go :-( we are on hol. That is quite annoying! How are you anyway? x x
Bad organisation? Oh I'm sorry, I'll just change the date of my birthday for you.
Okay okay, maybe I'm being a tad sensitive, but I'm just pissed off with people...
...I get an email from A the other day, subject: hey!!
He tells me that he's arrived in Hong Kong safely and how it's "amazing to be back", how his new house there is "awesome" and tells me that he's only got internet at the airport at the moment but that I should email him to let him know whats going on here as he can check them when holidaying in China, and then ends with:
Also sad I didnt get to speak to you b4 i left but left a message plus you seemed totally unphased by the card but anyway
Oh my god.
What do you want me to do? Hold a candlelight vigil?
I said thanks when he gave it and gave him a hug and we said goodbye and stuff when he came round the day before I went to London (see in last post).
I didn't open it then because I didn't want to.
What's wrong with that?
And the reason why we didn't get to speak before he left:
He rang when I was in the car with my uncle, CK, and CS on the way to see my gran but hung up before I could answer so I rang him back:
Me: Hey
A: Oh hey. Sorry, I was going to ring you, but er, I'm er sort of moving at the moment, I'll call you later
Me: Okay, bye
And then when he did ring back, I was asleep.
I woke up when we got to the hospital to find his message telling me he'd checked in and was about to go. And that was an hour before so it was too late.
God, some people are so sensitive.
It's not like we're never going to see each other anymore.
I'm going there at Christmas, he's coming back in 8 months, and then he's coming to the same university as me!
And it's not like Hong Kong is some far unknown universe for him.
Okay so it must be daunting moving there for 8 months and living there and stuff, but he's been at least once every year, and he has family there, and he was complaining that his parents will be visiting too much.
totally unphased by the card
God's sake.
posted by Azuric @ 11:12 am
5 Comments:
At 5:06 pm,
In Full Bloom said…
I know what you mean. I've been feeling this way for a while. I think the issue is that, maybe subconsciously, everyone has already moved on. So in a sense they just don't care any more. And, to be honest with you, the more unreturned calls I make and the more texts (much like yours) I receive, the more apathetic I begin to feel too.
It's sad in a way, because after all these years of being here, there are only a few people I can honestly say I'll really miss. But in some ways thats a good thing because it means I'll be less sad when I leave.
This summer has really given me some time to think about who my real friends are because of things like that, and I know this might sound really bad, but when people stop making you happy, there is no point in having them in your life anymore.
It's kind of harsh, but it's a simple choice at the end of the day.
xx
At 6:44 pm,
Anyhoo said…
Bad mutual organisation, meaning perhaps "oh, I didn't think of when your birthday was when we arranged the holiday"?
I tend to find written communication matches whatever mood I'm in, so if I've happy other people's words becoming overwhelming positive, if I'm ratty everything is snide insults, and if I've tired everything is sarcastic.
As for A, did you explain that you wanted to open the card later, when he was gone, or just accept it (and it's not too late to explain that now). And did he know about your grandmother?
He almost might have sent the email while jetlagged, which never does wonders for making the best of things.
He did just ask you keep emailing him, to keep in contact with him, to provide him with reassuring stability; he's asking for a friend.
So stop being a bloody sulky muppet and email him something to explain and encourage him.
As for the girl, why worry? What till she gets back from holiday and then leave it up to mutual friends to point out how much she missed.
With unanswered texts, it could just be that they worry they don't have enough to tell. Never underestimate the impact of faltering confidence.
At 9:51 pm,
Azuric said…
IFB: Maybe you're right. Actually you are. It's true, so I guess it doesn't matter. It's like a filter. You now actually know who the real ones are, and the others can just be what they were - people to talk to on a general level when need be.
Any: Hmmm, I thought of the bad mutual organisation. But something tells me they wouldn't have planned around it even if they did know/remember.
And about written communication - thats true also.
I did reply to A: Sorry I didn't open it infront of you. I didn't want to.
I opened it the next day and thought it was really sweet and he did know about my gran.
Even if he was jetlagged (the rest of the email was fine and dandy so I doubt this) there's still no reason for that ridiculous comment.
He did just ask you keep emailing him, to keep in contact with him, to provide him with reassuring stability; he's asking for a friend.
I hate it when you're right.
But it's not like I've stopped being a friend.
And I need a friend too sometimes, not that I make a big deal out of it.
He's such an attention whore sometimes. No wait, all the time.
I always give and don't mind.
But then when he says things like that it pisses you off.
Texts are short and sweet. You don't have to have lots to tell.
At 10:36 pm,
Anyhoo said…
I hate it when you're right.
That sounds like a whole lot of hating. :-p
Texts: but what there is ought to be worth telling, which they may not think it is.
WV: spkah!
Ok, I added the exclamation mark.
At 6:47 am,
Rob7534 said…
I'm sorry your friends can't be there on your very special day Azuric. And now that everyone seems to be moving on with their goals and school and stuff, things will be different. You may very well lose contact with everyone, but rest assured, the friendships you forge in your new school will be well worth it!
Especially for a brite, considerate, and fun-loving guy like you!
I don't know when the birthday is, and I hope I'm not too late, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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