I'm so stupid. Hilarious. But stupid.

I had a telephone interview today for a position as a full time cashier at a bank. And, as it was a full-time position I decided to keep the whole still being at uni thing on the low down. I was planning on un-full-timing myself sometime nearer to October.

So anyway...the interviewer asked me about why I'd applied for said position, what I hoped to gain from it, and then asked me about my career goals and where I hoped to go.

Naturally I panicked, because, Cardio-thoracic surgeon is not the answer I think she was looking for...so I said that one day I aspire to be a Branch Manager or Regional Manager.

Oops.

My mum found it very, very amusing, and couldn't even re-tell the story to my gran without laughing into her coffee for a good minute before.

Shit.

So anyway, they've asked me for a real interview now. Though I obviously can't go can I?

To add to this, I spent part of this morning with the Yellow Pages on my lap, ringing various recruitment agencies. We'll see where forwarded CVs take me.

Eugh.

It's not that I need the money, though obviously it would really help. It's just that I can't stand being bored.
I'm a really social person, and very creative and can't stand not doing anything.

This is the same little predicament I was in last summer. Though then everything was nowhere.

I really need to take charge of my life. Be more independent. More adult. There isn't much I can do right now because life here is like someone has hit the pause button.

But when I get back to London. I need to find a creative and enjoyable part time job, minimum contract, to keep going under my studies. So that next year, I can live and work in the Dizzle.

Being bored is dangerous.

I'm trying not to endanger myself. So far so good. The internet isn't helping. It's too tempting to plunge into a fabricated world of 0s and 1s as a substitute of the world I'm missing. Living vicariously through others isn't cool either. Can't let that happen. I feel a bit out of touch even though I don't seem to be missing anything. The weather was good today. Actually had a bit of sun. I don't like being so cut off from everyone. I miss the countryside. I miss friends. Before they changed. And for some reason I seem to want to push away from others. I want to dye my hair again. And grow it. But first get it cut. I'm trying to make what I am into what I long for. It's wrong.I really need to take charge of my life. Be more independent. Take more risks. Stop wanting the comfort and then regretting it when it smothers me.

girl is wicked.

I'm back in my bedroom at home. It feels weird. It's not like I just got back after years away or anything. It just felt a little reminicent because I walked in, sat down at my desk, and turned on the radio, and it all felt very teenage.

Weird.

Anyway, so yes, I'm back. And I'm not going to tell you how India was, because frankly, I've told so many people now, I can't be bothered. All I'm going to say is that it was an adventure. I definately want to go back. But not under the same circumstances.

Now I'm facing the same old soul-crushingly depressing chore of trying to find a job in this two-bit town I called home. I'm being mean. I do love the little L, just not when I'm stuck here.

I applied for a job at the H&M here and was told I dont have enough experience. This is a year after the LONDON STORE asked me for an interview. The LONDON STORE which is far busier, and has a much higher turnover and thus is far more demanding.
And if no one gives you a chance, how the fuck are you meant to get any experience?!

Apparently my housemate who owns our flat told my other housemate that we can move in whenever we want but I can't get in contact with him to confirm this. I think he's gone on holiday. I really hope this is true because I will be moving in faster than you can say Pseudohyperparathyroidism.

Now I dont know whether to play PC games, or read Harry Potter 7. Hmmm.

Also, I've ordered a pair of Puma Running shoes (see below). Can't wait till they arrive. Must. Get. Fit. Soon.

That's it for now.

lets run