Im in shock.
Absolutely mortified.
If I wasnt already, Id have to sit down.
If just discovered something disturbing...
..."unorganised" is NOT a word!
I know! I couldn't believe it either. Apparently its meant to be "disorganised".
Who on earth says that?
Most ridiculous thing I've enver heard in my life. I always say unorganised!
Has that got any inner pedants crying?
Anyway, moving on before I reaveal any more of the peculiarities with my spoken English, lets do some Yays:
Yay for all new and gorgeous Peanut Butter KitKat Chunkys.
Mmmm so creamy and chocolaty, and slightly salty. Love it! I realise you maybe disgusted by that, but dont you think, for example, that chocolate flavour crisps would be soo nice?!
I really like eating salted crisps with chocolate. Maybe its Synaesthesia related.
Yay for songs with La-las or Na-nas, and especially Yeah-yeahs.
(Other repetatives may be acceptable).
Im really liking The Flaming Lips - Yeah yeah yeah song.
Yay for the comic shopping/gardening escapades of a certain Londoner
Yay for The Apprentice. How good was last nights episode?!
Im wanting Paul to win it.
Not only is he really funny, but he is good at all the tasks, and works hard.
Im strongly disliking Syed. He is soo arrogant and cheesy it makes you want to slap him with a dead fish.
And doesnt Sir Alan Sugar remind you of a gerbil?
And because wherever there's a Yay, there's a Nay:
Boo to annoying aunts who make the same unfunny references to me wearing my pyjamas bottoms all the time. They are lounge-wear.
They are comfy. I wear them all the time in the house. And no you dont just wear them in the lounge ha-ha.
Biggest ever boo to the O2 Wireless festival in London. Im so jealous.
My sister is planning to go to the 5day music festival to see those Lips, the Strokes, Pharrell, Massive Attack, Zero 7 and soooo many more.
And guess what I'll be doing? Yes thats right - sitting exams!
In other news, our kettle finally died.
It had been on its way out for a while now, meaning that trying to make a cup of tea involved standing for several hours swivelling the kettle around on its base till the contacts lined up.
And I have to say, watching an Indian woman shouting at her kitchen appliances is probably the funniest thing that you will never see.
And why are offensive terms so much funnier in Gujerati?
Something along the lines of,
"stupid [bleep]ing thing, put you in such a nice kitchen and this is how you repay me!"
Revision beckons...
posted by Azuric @ 4:23 pm
15 Comments:
At 5:49 pm,
In Full Bloom said…
This was quite hilarious- it cheered me right up.
I'm currently living in the states right now but hopefully will be back in time to enjoy the Wireless Fest.
What exams will you be sitting?
xx
At 5:54 pm,
Azuric said…
Hey!
Im glad it made you happy.
I'll be sitting my A-levels, finals before university. Biology, Chemistry, and Maths.
Im just looking at your blog now - looks really interesting. What are you hoping to study at Manchester?
And you have really good taste in music.
At 8:31 pm,
Anyhoo said…
So what are swearwords in Gujarati? You know you want to.
Anyway, you want to get yourself a Danish kettle (courtesy of a flatmate who's moved out). Just big enough for one mugful, this mighty beast deploys innovative technology to prevent it ever boiling over. The element heats for 3 seconds, turns off, heats for another three, and repeats this cycle until the power runs out and we're all just left humming. They only slower method of boiling water is trying to use the electric stove, which is designed to let one watch the whole of Eastenders before the saucepan boils over.
And O2: tempting, but at £40 per day... And they put the Super Furries in a small font.
But I note a little Channel 4 logo in the corner, so I can just watch it on... the television I don't have. Drat (or equivalent in Gujarati).
Back to trying work out where to liberate soil from - there was a huge pile outside my window earlier, but suddenly Thames Water have started being neat (after months of abandoning half built things all round London) so they took it with them.
At 9:53 pm,
Azuric said…
I thought you purchased compost.
O2 - My sisters poor attempt at consoling me being that next year I will possibly be able to hear the whole thing from my uni halls. That is if its in Hyde Park, and the sound carries.
And yes, sharing profanities is tempting, and probably better here hidden away on a comment than in a full post...but which would you like to know?
[note how im getting you to lead this particular conversation so that the naughtiness points at you]
Its really weird, things that are normally hardly offensive in English are so much ruder in Gujerati. Like calling someone a stupid donkey - salo ghudero would have old ladies shrieking with disbelief.
At 11:42 pm,
In Full Bloom said…
Biology, Chemistry and Maths = my worst nightmare.
Sadly I found out yesterday that I was Unsuccessful in my application to Manchester which means I will be going to King's College London (if I get the exam grades!) which gave me a good offer. To tell you the truth I was probably going to go there anyway but it would've been good to have another offer.
I want to study Portuguese and Brazilian Studies with English, so I'm really excited about that. Definitely ready to move on from secondary ed.
You mentioned you'd be going to uni in London too. Which uni?
You are quite the photographer- I was just checking out your flickr account.
Thanks for the compliment on my music- I wish blogger would let me list more.
You seem to be into some really cool stuff too. I'm really sorry you have to miss out on the O2 Fest.
Is your sister younger or older?
xx
At 4:16 pm,
Azuric said…
She is older - 25.
Sorry to hear about Manchester.
I had 3 rejections altogether - its horrible isn't it.
Im (hopefully) going to Imperial College London, so not that far from you.
Wow - sounds like a really funky course. Im hopeless with lanugages.
At 5:19 pm,
In Full Bloom said…
Yes, I had 3 rejections too, and even when they were unis I didn't care about, a rejection is a rejection and it is still very sad.
And yes, the course is pretty intresting. Ditto regarding your course though. I'm terrible at anything science or maths related.
What exactly in the medical field are you hoping to do?
xx
At 6:59 pm,
Azuric said…
Im not sure yet, there are so many specialities. I definately want to be a hospital doctor though, not a GP.
I did work experience in a plastic surgery department for 2 weeks and that was amazing, so probably something along those lines.
At 8:17 pm,
In Full Bloom said…
Plastic surgery? Wow, that sounds really cool. I've never known anyone planning to go into that area before! Probably because alot of it is so controversial.
xx
At 11:50 am,
Anyhoo said…
Is salo stupid or a donkey?
I did buy compost. I ran out. But helpfully Thames Water left a great big pile gouged from under the road outside (nearly blocking) the front door of the building, so it's all sorted now.
But back to swearing; if it operates on a different scale, then how will I know what to ask about? I'm afraid you'll just have to guide me.
At 1:29 pm,
Azuric said…
Salo (masculine), sali (feminine), sala (plural) is stupid.
And all the endings match up, hence ghuder-o, not -i or -a
Oh no you don't :-P
You tell me what you want to know in English, and I'll give you the translation, or equivalent.
And did you have a trowel?
I have a funnny image of you gleefully scooping soil of the streets with your bare hands and running back inside.
At 11:56 pm,
Anyhoo said…
Big spoon plus washing up bowl (which now needs washing).
Those endings uniform for all nouns and adjectives? So is it specifically a male donkey, or are all donkeys male in a linguistic sense?
And why can't you launch in to swearwords of your own accord? Salo Azuro.
So what is:
- Damn, both as a statement and as an adjective?
This is going to get quite hard, because, while I don't swear that much I do tend to use words in many different ways, e.g. bugger = Oh X, X off, X this, daft X.
And maybe I shouldn't have started this, as now we'll get stuck in the idiosyncrasies of my swearing, as I tend towards damn, bugger, bloody, sod, arse, bollocks, hell (after bloody or sodding) or combinations and derivatives of these. Despite living in London, fuck does not feature, neither do cunt, shit or wank. Bitch and bastard only creep in occasionally.
So a translation of all of the above please, as nouns, verbs and adjectives. I did try to warn you, and I would have settled for two more Gujarati curses if you hadn't forced me to this point.
And you do know that just cost you your family-friendly status, don't you? No more misguided searchers on MSN for you.
At 1:51 am,
Azuric said…
Haha!
I wonder what was going through the minds of anyone who saw you scooping away.
It varies with the subject so if I was calling a male a stupid donkey, it would be salo ghudero, but if it were a female, then sali ghuderi.
Names however dont apply, so it would be salo Azuric, but thanks :-P
And your right. Its hard to find Guji equivalents to those requests.
Salo Any-hoo.
For damn as a general adjective I think the closest thing is salo. But as a statement, there isn't really one.
Although my Dad tends to go Ah! a lot.
Oh why can't you just use normal swear words?
Fuck is easy.
And bitch would be kutri (the female version of dog. Although you could quite acceptably call a guy a kutro).
Luchi means crafty/bitchy.
Bastard would be... Haram Sathe. (I dont know exactly what those two words mean, just that that is the equivalent. Although they possibly could have been derived from Harem Saathe, meaning with a Harem?)
Bloody, again - salo would be most appropriate.
Ok I give in.
This is too hard. Guji offensive terms tend to be more animal related. With many fuck related varieties.
And who what huh?
Family-friend status?
MSN?
At 12:01 am,
Anyhoo said…
So salo anything then?
MSNery: swearwords on blog = not PG, hence fewer searchs lead to you.
Hmm, and why does Parental Guidance get used when people mean Universal?
WV: didnb
At 7:24 pm,
Azuric said…
Can it search comments as well?
Meh, this place is pretty exclusive anyway.
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